In Tenderness
by Jen Manglos (Seattle, WA) originally published in Edition 3 of Inicio, Feb. 11th, 2026
Tears fill my eyes and I am relieved at the reminder of my humanity, my emotions, my tender heart. Even though I cannot relate to the main character of this film in practicalities, something of his feelings touch my own. I know what it feels like to suffer, to feel isolated, to feel lost. After days of feeling emotionally constipated, this film is becoming a gateway for my emotions to flow.
Oscars season is a holy time of year for me. It has been since I was a teenager. I remember the shame I felt when I invited a friend to watch the telecast with my family and she proceeded to talk through the entire show. I just assumed that everyone took the Oscars as seriously as my family did. But more than glitz and glamour, I am drawn to this awards show, because I love movies. Film provides a beautiful blend of creativity and storytelling that continues to capture my imagination.
Something of my work as a spiritual director and the pain I witness around me, can send me into places where I disconnect from my emotions. I fear that big feelings will take me out, like some sort of soul tsunami. My continual journey is to learn that they will not destroy me and that the only way of moving through my emotions is to enter into them with God and others.
Recently I watched the film “Train Dreams”, which is nominated for Best Picture, and found a safe place to let down and feel again. It’s a slow, contemplative film (evocative of Terrence Malick), following a logger named Robert Grainier. The cinematography is stunning, but the imagery also highlights the ways that Grainier sees and takes in all that is around him - from the beauty of nature, to the changes industry brings to a space, to human cruelty, to human tenderness. In one scene, when he shares with another the great loss he encountered as a younger man, his confession broke open my heart. I haven’t experienced anything near the loss he suffered, but in witnessing the tenderness in what he shared with another person - a story that was was hidden away for many years - and that tenderness being met in kind, my feelings broke open.
The catharsis was a relief to my mounting, unexpressed emotions and my wordless, tear-filled prayer that night was one of gratitude. The next night, when I was in spiritual direction with a group I’m a member of, I was able to bring my own tenderness and experience a soft landing for myself with my friends and God. I feel a sense of awe of how God meets us in vulnerability, in beauty, in community, in emotions, and in Oscar nominated films.
If you want to journey with others in places of tenderness, we have just announced our Spiritual Direction Cohorts Beginning in fall 2026.
In Reflection
Begin this time by closing your eyes, taking some deep breaths, and invite God into this time of reflection with you. You may want to have available any items that make you feel safe and contained (i.e., a blanket to wrap around you or a pillow to hold onto).
Are there any tender places in your life that you sense an invitation to engage with right now?
Notice your initial response to this tender place within through your feelings, thoughts, and bodily reactions from a place of curiosity.
Pause here and imagine God holding and tending to this tender place.
Finish your time by sharing with God anything that you would like about your tenderness.
In the Nuosphere
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